(originally posted yesterday, on The Broke-Ass Bride. I’m in a pre-op appointment today. Bloodwork, EKG, Echocardiogram, the works. Jealous?)
I’ve been crying on and off all morning. I freaking HATE the medical system right now. I want to move to canada, or sweden. Because this just ain’t working for me anymore, and I just need to write it out to try and feel a little better.
Yesterday, my surgical coordinator called to tell me the hospital pharmacy is refusing to order my $18,000 drug implant because of “some problem with insurance”. Of course, she didn’t have any more detail than that at the time. Of course, I’ve been paying out the nose for my own insurance for the past year. Of course, I’ve had this exact surgery like seven times before, with no problem. Of course, they’ve had TWO MONTHS to get this shit settled in advance. But here I am, two weeks before my surgery, totally blindsided by this news.
Today, she called to say that there will be at least another 48 hour delay in approval, and the drug takes 2-3 weeks to be delivered, so yeah…. its probable that my surgery (which I’ve been planning my LIFE around for the past 2 months) will be delayed.
So I called my insurance company. They say, “we have no idea what the problem is. Your hospital called, requesting pre-authorization on the implant… but this surgery doesn’t require it. Maybe they’re upset because we can’t guarantee benefits in advance, but as long as they submit the claim correctly and provide backup, it will be paid – just like your other surgeries were”. SO WHAT’S THE FREAKING PROBLEM?!?!?
I am waiting for the director of UCLA’s pharmacy to return my call and explain just exactly WHAT the problem is and WHAT RIGHT do they have to REFUSE my implant order when I am a FULLY INSURED United States citizen who depends on this surgery to preserve MY ABILITY TO FREAKING SEE. I am waiting for my surgeon to get out of the OR and call me back so I can demand to know how this happened, and have him explain to me what he’s able to do to make it right. Because, surely, someone has to be able to do something. Right now, it seems no one is doing anything.
But waiting is not my strong suit.
I am a proactive person. I like to make shit happen. This situation is like wearing a straight jacket, a blindfold, earplugs and a strip of duct tape over my mouth. I am unable to do anything to help the situation. I am castrated. I am useless. And I don’t cotton well to feeling impotent, especially in matters concerning my healthcare. So instead, I alternate crying with fits of anger, and intensely staring at my phone like if I concentrate hard enough it will ring with the words “good news, its all cleared up, and they’re rushing your implant here on time after all.”
But it doesn’t ring. I am not, much to my chagrin, telekinetic.
Please please please send good healthcare and patience and love vibes to me. I need all that I can get at the moment.
Thanks.
Phew, that feels a little better. I’ll keep you posted.
